Revising HOD

The Harbringer of Death

Prologue

The Basis of all life was set up quite simply, the beings of light and holy gods received the heavens, the living resided in the grounds in between everything and the dead was gifted with the rotting lands.
Though Death thought this was wrong, why should such puny living things receive better conditions than them. The only real reason this was set up was simply because the holy people thought of death less important with his unholyness and a threat to their existence, the living prayed to the gods and the gods enjoyed their presence.
However, Death started a rebellion and got his own Harbringer of Death which would lead his soldiers to gain the lands he thought should be his. And slowly this happened, starting with sin. Sin was like a seed waiting to grow and take over, a weed, a plague, corruption. It corrupted some of the first beings, then the sin in them became stronger and murderers and criminals came about to serve death. The Harbringer gathered them and made an army. Then came the great plague, one of death's first’s efforts to wipe out the living.
The plague wasn’t strong enough; forces of justice from the holy heavens repelled them and purged the plague. Death waited until the holy beings and gods lost their interest in the living. Once this happened, Death told his Harbringer to bring chaos upon the world. All the harbringer asked as his payment for doing these things was his own name, just a name; his name became Cranok the Harbringer of Death. And so the chaos continued until they came upon a kingdom called Ferin, Ferin had many practitioners of the holy magics, which made it very difficult for Cranok to defeat them. A very special knight upon them named Brenard slaughtered the undead and brought hope to the land. But all that hope was wiped out when Cranok himself came to the front lines and burst his way to the main castle.

Part 1 All Hope Lost

Brenard the knight ran with his plated red armor to the malevolent war queen and laid his shield covered with runes down "He’s here. . . Cranok has gotten to the gate we . . . we don’t have much time, we need to get away!" He said in Panic. But he was too late. The Queen and Brenard turned to the wooden throne doors as they heard the murderous screams of a guard being killed. A figure of unholy dark armor entered the room stepping over the dead body, at the figure's helm gazed two dark red eyes. As he walked up everything around him began to look dead, turning to a shade of black. All the soldiers backed up, seeing the ground rot under his feet.
"No!" Brenard yelled, “this isn’t the end Cranok!" Five of the Queen's guards ran up to Cranok the Harbringer to fight him but with a push of his hands Cranok sent them flying and one after another hit the walls of the castle, some catching fire from the hanging torches on the walls. Blood thirsty ghouls flooded into the throne rooms killing and slaughtering all the Queen's guards. Brenard ran up to the Harbringer in the middle of the throne room and clashed swords with him, but he wasn’t strong enough. Brenard's sword was hit away by Cranok leaving an opening. Cranok grinned and brought his huge claymore down on Brenard and Brenard lurched to the ground, his chest with an indent in the armor, the sword went deep into his chest. Brenard took a last breath and the Harbringer brought his sword out, Brenard falling to the ground.
The Queen ran down the stone steps with her blue cloak dragging behind her from her throne and began fighting Cranok with magic. But all her magic was useless, she tried throwing a ball of fire but the Harbringer warded it off with his hand. She tried blasting a ball of frost at him but the same happened. The Harbringer laughed as he walked up to her and grabbed her by the neck.
As the Queen struggled to get out, she uttered, “Your desires shall not be met.” He grabbed his Claymore and sliced her head clean off. In the castle a ghostly silence came upon the small number of survivors. All hope was lost.

ORLY? o.o

I think you need some counciling.